Okay....before you start laughing....This cigar is bachelorette party gag-gift hilarious.  Sigmund Freud would have had a field day with this thing.  Smoking one will make you feel cheap and sleazy.....On that note, I will refrain from making overt dirty connotations from here on.

The Asylum 13 Churchill Gordo is massive.  I laughed the first time I saw it simply because I knew if I asked my Son to pick any cigar in the humidor for me to smoke it would have been this one.  It looks like a cigar from a Bugs Bunny cartoon....out of proportion and likely to explode when lit.  If ever there was a cigar that I would label the " El Jerko" as seen in Futurama, this would be the one.  There is a quarter of a tobacco harvest in this one cigar....okay that is a stretch....but anyway.  WHat made me try one?  Sheer comedic value, my friends.  How was this monstrosity?  Let's find out.

Construction: This monster is quite well constructed.  Nice clean wrapper, no blemishes, overall a nice looking cigar.

Pre-light Aroma and Draw: Pre-lit there is a nice sweet fermented tobacco aroma.  Really quite pleasant.  As I was about to cut the thing I noticed a problem....how was I going to cut this thing?  My mind flicked to my toolbox.  Tin snips?  Aviation shears?  Hedge clippers?  The samurai sword my Son has in his room?  In the end I decided on a simple bullet punch cutter.  I drilled a small quarter-inch hole in the foot and took an experimental pull.  Imagine my shock finding a nice open draw! 

Light and Burn: Lighting the Gordo is no simple feat.  I used three matches at once and even that wasn't enough fire to light it all the way.  I think a World War II flamethrower would be your best bet.  Maybe a burning log from a fire pit? Anyway....once lit the Gordo takes off nicely.  It does take some lung capacity to smoke this monster, so be warned.  The burn was slightly uneven as well.  Once again, something I attribute to the sheer amount of wind required to smoke it.  I might get my Shop-Vac out and see if I can even it up a bit....

Tasting: I picked up tons of leather, earth, black coffee and some interesting spice in this cigar.  The flavors are also a bit salty.  I had to chase this one with a glass of water.  I admit that the massive proportions of this cigar made it difficult to get a good profile of its character.  It does get more complex and easier to smoke as you get into the last third. 

Value: For this much tobacco the Asylum is a steal at $7.

Final Thoughts: I admit that I can't see myself smoking one of these again unless trying to act silly with some of my buddies. It's a gag.  A gimmick.  Truly not something I can see a huge market for either.  Sure, it's a high-quality cigar, but the proportions are more to get looks from people and smutty comments from your friends.  I am not all that fond of the massive ring gauge cigars that seem to plague the market these days.  My usual preference is somewhere in the 40 to mid 50 ring gauge range, so this cigar is a departure for me. If you are going as something for Halloween that requires a cigar, this would be the icing on the cake for your costume.  Other than that, I can only slightly recommend this cigar.

Wrapper: Nicaragua Habano
Binder: Nicaragua
Filler: Nicaragua

Strength: Medium to full

Size: 7x70 (a cigar's width is measures in 64th of an inch....so this thing is over an inch across)

Looks normal in this photo. 

The band is fairly pop-culture boring.  With that much paper they could have really done something amazing

Here it is next to a standard robusto (5" x50)

Simply massive!

It feels like chewing on a tree branch!

The " mother-in-law" jawbreaker of cigars!